The Genius and his Maker
by TheTurneyvore
Summary: A lot of people have called Lysander Shepard childish. More people have called him worse things. But one thing's for sure, he takes care of his own. But now that he's destroyed the Collector Station, he embarks on a mission where his own will need to take care of him. Language! Adult Themes! Violence! And best of all, M!ShepXJack
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect in particular or Bioware in general (although my dream is to work for them someday)!**

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In a rocky hillside somewhere on the desolate blue-hued surface of Zilgin, a human and a turian were crammed into a small crevice. The blue armor covering the turian's frame blended in with the rock seamlessly, making him quite hard to see. The high collar of his exo-suit was heavily burnt and scarred but still appeared functional. The human crouched next to him was a small female. Her entire body was a canvas for colorful tattoos that overlapped each other in seemingly random, chaotic patterns. She wore very little in the way of clothing: pants, boots, leather straps and a gas mask. The delicate face behind the transparent visor held an expression that was anything but delicate.

"Is it just me," Jack growled, "or is this plan even more retarded than the ones Shepard usually comes up with?" The human was as stretched out as she could in the small crevice. Her black-booted feet were propped up against the edge and her arms were crossed behind her shaved head, pillowing it from the unforgiving azure rock.

Garrus didn't look up from the partially-disassembled Mantis sniper rifle that was lying in his lap. The only sign that he had even heard what his companion had said was a slight shrug of his wide shoulders. After a second he deadpanned, "Shepard does what Shepard does." With a click he locked the long barrel of his rifle into place then added with significantly more feeling, "And then we clean up the mess." Jack was distinctly unimpressed by his attempt at badassery and gave a derisive snort.

Outside their sniper's nest, the wind howled. Zilgin was known for two things, its cobalt rich surface and stupidly toxic atmosphere. No one had told Jack quite how cold it was going to be. As if on cue, frigid wind blew directly across the pair. Garrus, being that he was encased in an exo-suit, gave no notice but Jack shivered violently. It wasn't the first time that night either. Generally, the biotic could deal with low temperatures in little clothing but generally she was also tearing people apart. For Jack the heat of combat had always been there to ward off the chill. The ex-con didn't mind fighting in the cold at all. Fighting anywhere was just fine as far as she was concerned. Waiting in the cold was a different matter entirely. "Yeah, well that bastard better hurry up and 'do what he does' soon. It's fuckin' freezin'."

Garrus glanced over his shoulder at Jack and tried not to snort in amusement. "Perhaps you should have considered a change in wardrobe," the turian drawled. He tapped the visor on his helmet with one armored digit to emphasize the point, "Notice how I'm wearying an enviro-suit." Jack snarled at the blue-armored turian but didn't deign to respond.

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It didn't take long before Garrus's rifle was reassembled. As soon as his nimble fingers clicked the last piece into place, the turian raised the scope to his opaque visor and sighted down the hill. It didn't take him long to find Shepard. _What are you thinking, Commander? _Garrus wondered as he tracked his friend across Zilgin's surface. Despite his assurance to the volatile human beside him, Garrus had his doubts about the Commander's plan. Although there role as "clean-up" probably hadn't been exaggerated.

The lithe figure of his Commander made good time across the vivid blue surface of Zilgin, his long strides easiy eating up distance. Even if he hadn't been one of the few moving objects visible, Garrus would have been hard-pressed to miss his Commander. He was a difficult man to mistake for anyone else. The mottled black-and-green exo-suit he wore stood out like a sore thumb. But more than that, its design was unique to Shepard. The man had built it from scratch himself and it didn't look like anything else on the market. Where many exo-suits almost resembled suits of armor from many races' Steel Ages, Shepard's possessed a much more minimalistic design.

The thin armor only covered his legs and torso, leaving his head and well-toned arms uncovered. Pits glowing with pale-blue light dotted most surfaces on the armor, making him stand out even more against the gathering darkness. Even if Shepard hadn't been wearing his trademark armor, no else Garrus knew had circuit board tattoos on their arms or had the same shaggy blond hair.

Garrus shifted the scope and zoomed out slightly so he could get a better look at Shepard's destination. He'd seen holos of the low structure jutting out the cerulean ground in the briefing but the only thing Garrus ever trusted completely was what his eyes told him. Still, the building discretely built into the planet's surface was exactly as it had been projected by EDI. Garrus shook his head. _This is really strange. Why aren't we down there with Shepard? We can't cover him from up here… _Garrus glared at the tattooed woman who was softly snoring next to him, _at least she can't._

As if she had heard his thoughts, Jack cracked one fiery brown eye open. She caught the look Garrus was shooting at her and held it, even though he tried to turn away. Both of her eyes were open now and tightened in anger, nothing new there. "Am I makin' you _uncomfortable, _Scarface?" the ex-convict snarled viciously. Blue lightening flickered dangerously across her face, highlighting her high cheekbones. Jack's patience with this mission had run out a long time ago. She needed to kill someone _now_ and this turian bastard seemed positively begging for it. If he didn't stop pissing her off, Subject Zero was going to oblige him.

Garrus knew criminals. Looking away now would be a sign of weakness and weakness was fatal. He needed to meet this problem head on… with equally fatal force. He was about to round his rifle barrel on her and blow that snarl off her lips when his rational side kicked in.

No, he couldn't do this now. With Shepard's life was hanging in the balance, he needed to diffuse the situation instead. There would be time to settle this later. "Not the time, Jack" he growled, cheek flanges flaring under his visor. _What was Shepard thinking, putting me with this animal? If this was Omega and I was still Archangel, she'd have gotten a bullet through the brain the moment I set eyes on her._

If Jack had one talent, it was killing people. If she had two talents, they were killing people… and reading them. Right now she was using the second one. Even from behind his dark visor, Jack could feel the bloodlust burning in Garrus's eyes. It was _so_ turning her on. "You think I don't know what that look means, Ugly? I _invented _that look. I know what you're thinkin' and I'm thinkin' the same thing. I'm gonna enjoy pulling those plates off your face one by one…" A smile split Jack's face as she began to stand up, menace coiled in every line of her compact body.

"I said," Garrus snarled, "_now's not the time. Look._" The turian pushed his rifle's stock towards the half-risen woman. She looked at the weapon, momentarily unable to process why he was handing he his weapon. Did he _want _her to beat him to death with it? It took the tattooed biotic a moment but even when she realized he was refusing to fight, she didn't take the proffered gun. For all Jack knew, it was a trick to get her to let her guard down. But after he made no further moves, hostile or otherwise, she took the Mantis and raised it to one intense caramel eye.

She found Shepard quickly and wasn't terribly surprised by what she saw. _For such a fuckin' smart man, Shepard sure does some dumb shit, _she mused as her Commander politely knocked on the goddamn front door. Jack whistled in appreciation, her quarrel with Garrus seemingly forgotten, "Heh heh, either that bastard's finally gone insane or he's got more balls'n a Krogan."

Garrus snorted, "If you're finished admiring the Commander's balls, I need my rifle back." His patience with this mission, and particularly the tattooed human next him, was quickly running out.

"I ain't giving back shit," Jack stated "You've got magnification on your visor. Use it." There was no way in hell she was going to miss the moment the fireworks started. Shepard might be a pain in the ass but it was beautiful to watch him fight. _A true fuckin' artist, _Jack thought wryly as she zoomed in more on Shepard.

Garrus couldn't help himself, he growled at Jack. Doubtlessly, she was the most insufferable person he'd ever met but still… he'd actually growled at her. _Maybe now is the time, after all… _Luckily Jack was glued to the sight of his Mantis and didn't notice the sudden spike in his bloodlust. Even if she did, she chose to ignore it. Out loud, the turian said, "When Shepard gives the signal; my shots need to be lined up."

"Bullshit," Jack dismissed him, never glancing away from the scope for a moment, "Shepard can take care of himself. I wanna watch." The excitement was really getting to her. Already, the door's holographic display had turned green and the panel was sliding open. The stirring that violence always brought forth was beginning to pool in her stomach. The ex-con could feel the heat of excitement gathering in her body. She wanted, needed, to leap out of the sniper's nest (_Why the hell am I in a sniper's nest, anyway?_), charge down the slope and blow a hole through whoever or whatever stood in her way. All she was waiting for was Shepard's signal, which was a rather odd thing. _Why should a man I barely know be able to put a damn leash around my neck? _Jack wondered furiously. Still, she curbed her impulses. There was something about the dread-locked commander that she just couldn't find it in herself to disobey.

Still fixated on getting his rifle, Garrus began, "You're endangering the-"

"Awww, shut the hell up," Jack moaned, interrupting him, "If I give the damn rifle back, will ya quit your bitchin'?" Without waiting for his reply, she roughly tossed the Mantis at him. Garrus caught it in mid-air and glared at Jack before putting the rifle back up to his face. Jack glared right back although the turian couldn't see her do it.

In the time it had taken Garrus to convince the difficult woman he was crammed into a sniper's nest with to return his Mantis, things below had taken a drastic turn for the worse. The last the ex-Ci-Sec Officer had seen of Shepard, he'd been nearing the door without showing any signs of stealth. That had been worrisome enough. Now that he was surrounded by at least twenty heavily armed Blue Suns, Garrus was even more than worried.

The entryway to the structure stood open, casting harsh, clinical light on the scene. Shepard stood in the middle of a ring of large mercs, all their guns steadfastly trained on him. The commander had his tattooed arms raised in the air, showing no signs of attack. A single Blue Sun cautiously stepped forward and removed the pistol and submachine gun from Shepard's belt.

"This is not good…" Garrus groaned.

"What's happening?" Jack pressed excitedly, "Is he fuckin 'em up yet?"

"No…" Garrus's finger caressed the trigger, ready to put a hole through his first merc the second Shepard gave the signal, "They've taken his guns."

Jack chuckled darkly, "So what?"

Beneath his visor, one of Garrus's cat-like eyes twitched. _That's it. I _can't _deal with this moron for another second. _"So what?" Garrus snapped, "So, Shepard doesn't have his _guns. _He can't shoot people. Shooting is generally how we deal with Blue Suns." _Give the damn signal, Shepard…_

Jack sneered, "And that would matter if it were you down there. I'll start worryin' when they rip out his implants. He's gonna start poppin' skulls any second now…"

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**A/N: Hi everybody! This is my first fanfic and I hope you like it! I'm not the type whose big on the whole "plan thing" but I'll do my best to keep this story regularly updated. Don't worry though, I like writing and being current with this shouldn't be a problem. All reviews are greatly appreciated, especially those of a positive nature but I'll accept flames too :D If you're writing anything at all that means _something _was provocative to you. I _love _being provocative XD **

**In the next chapter: Popping skulls, really Jack? Must you be so crude? Real men call for evac.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is the second chapter :D Shout out to A-01 for the review: you made my day, sir XD Shepard talks in this chapter *gasp* We still don't get any of his PoV, nor any fighting on his part though that may come fairly soon, promise. This chapter is a little short but I thought I ended it in an acceptable place. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: This one owns Bioware not nor does he own Mass Effect.**

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Shepard did not, in fact, start popping skulls. "They're taking him into the building," Garrus groaned, watching the scene unfold through the scope of his Mantis The turian was torn between cursing at Shepard for stupidly getting himself into such a sticky situation or laugh at Jack for beings to wrong about what the Commander was going to do next. Ultimate, the ex-C-Sec Officer decided to do neither. _Shepard and I have been through worse before, _Garrus reassured himself, _he knows what he's doing._

Jack, on other hand, didn't have that level of confidence in their commander. "That's it!" She shouted angrily, "I'm going down there!" Jack was cold, she was angry and she was _fucking tired of waiting around. _Blue lightening flashed across Jack's skin, highlighting ever angle of her mostly-exposed form as she coiled and leapt from out of the crevice.

She didn't get far. In the same instant that the tattooed biotic made to jump, Garrus's hand flashed out. His iron grip snapped around Jack's ankle and roughly yanked her back in. Garrus rolled on top of her, pinning the small woman to the ground. "We go," the turian growled at the woman trapped under the weight of his armor, "When Shepard gives the signal." Though his voice was calm and level, Garrus's cheeks flanges were spasming uncontrollably in rage.

"Fuck you," Jack growled, pushing back with inexorable force. The turian may have been larger than Jack, covered in dense bony plates and wearing heavy armor but it was really no contest. The small woman was the strongest biotic ever produced by the human race. There wasn't even any need to hurry. Cobalt power crackled across Jack's limbs as she forced the turian off her body with upper body strength alone. "Fuck you," she repeated, her words as inexorable as her motions, "Fuck Shepard and fuck your signal! Get captured was _not _part of the plan! I'm done with this _fucking _waiting!" With a mighty push the turian was flung off Jack. He bounced against the ceiling and would have landed back on the woman he had been grappling with if she hadn't already been moving.

Through the haze of pain, one clear thought cut through Garrus's head. He had to stop Jack. If she charged in now, Shepard was as good as dead. The Suns might want to take Shepard prisoner now but as soon as they saw he had allies, they'd put a bullet through his head. Garrus tested his limbs but nothing was moving yet, catching her wasn't going to work especially since she was faster than him and already partially out of the crevice.

"You owe Shepard more than this," Garrus croaked out, unable to do anything else.

It seemed to be the right thing to say as it halted Jack dead in her tracks. Slowly, she turned to look at the lies prostrate on the blue stone. The fury drained from her eyes. "I don't owe Shepard sh-" came the automatic response but she knew it wasn't true. _He's right, _Jack realized miserably as she sunk back into a seated position. The man had saved her life again and again. He'd freed her from cryostasis on Purgatory. He'd even tried to free her from her past on Pragia.

But most of all, he treated her like a human being. For that, the ex-con owed him more than anything else.

So, even though it went against ever fiber of her being, Jack sat back down next to the turian. They shot each other vicious, hate-filled looks. "I'm doing this for Shepard," she growled at Garrus, "not you or anybody else."

"I don't care who you're doing it for," Garrus growled back just as venomously, "as long as you stay here and way for the signal." Garrus couldn't stand being crammed into a space with this woman for much longer. If he had to stop her from doing something stupid one more time, it might be permanently. _Put it away, Garrus, _the turian told himself, _the mission comes first. Shepard is going to give the signal any second now…_

Seconds passed. And then minutes. And then an hour and still no signal came across their radios. Jack fidgeted and shivered next to Garrus. The turian, by contrast, was completely motionless. After Shepard had been dragged inside, two guards were left at the entrance to the compound. Garrus's bead stayed resolutely trained on the merc to the left. The moment the signal was given, he'd abruptly stop needing a helmet.

The waiting was grating on Jack like she was rolling around on sandpaper. It was bad enough that she was cold and uncomfortable but she was stuck with Garrus-Fucking-Vakarian. To say that the turian annoyed Jack would have been the understatement of the century. In light of recent events, her dislike of the alien was growing even stronger. She was stuck out here with one of her least favorite people in the galaxy while Shepard was probably having all sorts of fun with the Blue Suns trapped inside the base with him…

It was finally too much for the tattooed woman. She jumped to her feet, lightning crackling across her wiry frame. "I'm going," she ground out daring Garrus to stop her to. To the ex-con's surprise, Garrus's only response was a wave of one of his three fingers: the turian military signal for "go ahead." _Maybe he's not so insufferable after all, _Jack decided as a manic grin split her fine-bone face nearly in two.

Even before Jack started moving, Garrus's finger had been steadily increasing the pressure on his Mantis's trigger. Another millisecond and he would have fired. Garrus couldn't decide if the fact that his patience had broken at the exact same time as Jack should amuse him or piss him off.

Garrus didn't have time to make up his mind because at that instant, his radio blared to life. It was Shepard's voice. "Pull yer pants up, ladies! I'm coming in hot!" Excitement, adrenaline and sheer terror conspired to make Shepard's voice near unrecognizable but there was no mistaking what they meant. In Lysander Shepard's world, this is what passed for a signal. Garrus glanced over at Jack, from the fact that the sadistic grin on her face had somehow manage to widen, the turian decided that Jack had heard him too.

It was a damn good assumption. Jack roared something incomprehensible and leapt out of the sniper's nest, arching high into the air. Blue fury coalesced around her lithe form as she rocketed down towards the building below. Like a vengeful comet, the ex-convict screamed towards the guards who could do nothing but stare.

At the same time, Garrus's finger caressed his Mantis's trigger with all the gentleness of a man reuniting with his like a long-lost lover. The barrel barely kicked at all as the bullet sped from it. The small projectile raced Jack down the hillside towards the hapless mercs below. It almost lost.

At nearly the same moment, the first merc suddenly became half a foot shorter while the other was surprised to discover that someone had replaced his chest-cavity with a tattooed fist. Both crumpled like puppets with their strings cut.

"My dear Jack, would ya be so kind as ta hold the door fer me" Shepard asked over the com's with ironic formality. The sound of gunfire, screamed orders and running feet could be heard clearly behind the Commander's voice.

Jack made an angry rumble low in her throat and she casually pulled the door from its track. "Call me 'your dear' one more time" the biotic threatened, "and I'll pull your skull out through your ear." _I'm nobody's fuckin' 'dear.' Least of all Shepard's… _she reminded herself viciously but a part of her that she tried to ignore _was _pleased at Shepard's endearment.

Garrus wished Shepard wouldn't flirt with squadmates on the public channel. It was highly unprofessional and quite distracting. The turian opened up his private channel to Shepard. "You know Commander, one day she's going to follow up on those threats," he reminded Shepard.

The turian could practically hear the shit-eating grin plastered across his friend's face, "Then I'll jus' have ta get ya ta save my sorry ass when she does."

"I won't always be there, Shepard."

"You're here now, ain'tcha? Speakin' of that, see ya in a sec," And the com went dead.

Gunfire rattled out of the opening where the door had been followed quickly by the sprinting form of Shepard. Jack watched him whiz past for position against the side of the building. The asshole was really booking it. His silvery-blond hair was slicked with sweat and plastered against his skull. One of his arms was pumping furiously while the other cradled a cloth-draped spherical object to his chest like a footfall. At every step, little shocks of biotic energy ran down his legs. Jack peaked into the door-hole and saw why.

At least twenty Blue Suns were sprinting down the hallways after the convict's fleeing commander. Jack couldn't have been happier.

"Call fer evaaaaac!" Jack's commander shouted unnecessarily loudly.

She grinned. A corona of brilliant azure fury exploded from her tattooed skin. "Shut up," she growled dismissively at Shepard and charged into the oncoming mercs.

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**R&R, okay :D Pretty please...**

**Next chapter: Why were they on Zilgin in the first place? What did Shepard "liberate" from the Sun's facility?**


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